I really should be getting to bed, but I haven't written anything in so long and I was feeling it. I have settled into a rather grownup routine when it comes to going to work in the mornings, and while it doesn't suck nearly as much as having to be at school everyday, it's still pretty terrible because while I can completely see how routine makes everything easier, it is SO DAMN BORING. Oh well.

I really thought I'd be in a different place at this time in my life, but it seems that that is not in my cards. I'm bad at predicting my own future, and it's probably a good thing that it never seems to work out my way, because if I look back at times where I wish I could have chosen a different path I can see how much worse things would have been right now. They are not terrible. I cannot complain. I guess I just get bored easily. Like my father says though, really nothing about life matters except water, food, and shelter. Without those things you would die. Other than that, and all of the other petty things we humans worry about, there is nothing really important. Yes, we assign importance to things - it'd get very old very fast without social interaction, or fun, or work. And work has to be done in order to have food and shelter. Without fun, we'd all go crazy anyway. So, since we are alive - and not sure what comes after life, we will keep on trying to do our best to fill our lives with something, that elusive anything that will give us substance and purpose, and make us more than just an animal with basic instinct.

I like to become introspective about the meaning of life at 12:3o am when I should be in bed because I have work tomorrow - to serve all the alcoholics their booze so they can forget about life for a while. I always have this sneaking feeling that we all try too hard sometimes to make life meaningful when really in the end it won't matter at all. Then again, for the time we are here, it does matter, to us, and those around us, and so we keep on going despite the facts of our existence. I suppose we wouldn't exist if we didn't matter, so we may as well try. I'm speaking in circles now that are beginning to make less and less sense. Books and bed call me.