Twilight Zone

Right when I think my life is awfully boring, then bam...along comes something that forces me to think otherwise. I'm definitely in a transitional period right now. I don't know what it is or why every time I have to move in and out of an apartment there is change happening that is not just my living situation. Usually it has nothing to do with me moving at all, and once again, this is the case. I don't know what to make of it except that mostly it makes me feel like I am constantly living in a strange Twilight Zone - someone else's life that can't be mine but is so very mine at the same time that it couldn't possibly belong to someone else. I do not care about other people's bullshit problems or their immaturity. It doesn't seem important. Probably because it really isn't. My parents did call and stress me out earlier, but a few beers and some leftover stuffed shells should solve that problem pretty quickly. I haven't been sleeping enough.

I have learned how to drive my car decently well...certainly not perfectly and tonight on my way home from work I regressed. I stalled three times. I haven't stalled at all in three days. That's what overconfidence does to you. I do just need to keep doing it, though. I have been doing better. Not perfect, but much, much better. I absolutely and positively ADORE my car. Pretty much everything about it is amazing. Most people were much happier for me about it than I anticipated. I have developed a habit of expecting very little from people. Sometimes it's a good thing and sometimes it's bad. I know exactly where it came from and why. It's good because when people don't do nice things I don't get upset. If someone treats me like shit, I can just let it roll off my back and have no worries - I wasn't expecting anything more. On the other hand, if someone does treat me well and is nice to me, I am questioning them as to why I deserve them to be nice to me. I know it's a bit fucked up, but it's a bad habit I can't get out of. I am always appreciative, but I guess after meeting so many fucked up people in life, I have lost my faith in goodness a little bit. I need to work on that. I think I'm going to see if I can get my internet to play some TV shows since I no longer have a TV here, and try to not think so hard about everything and enjoy my beer. Worrying is such an unnecessary waste of time and energy.