The issue of Planned Parenthood has been brought to Congress, and while I usually avoid talking about politics, as a woman, it's an issue that just can't be ignored. It's also an issue I feel very strongly about. The issue here is to cut government funding for Planned Parenthood in order to lower our deficit.
One word can sum up how I feel about this. Ridiculous. Oh, also ludicrous. Completely backward, irresponsible, and quite honestly a little disgusting. It is pretty easy to see the arguments, and the people behind them. For whatever reason, Planned Parenthood seems to be in popular media associated almost exclusively with abortions. People who don't know any better and are anti-abortion think this is entirely beneficial. Except...the money that the government gives to Planned Parenthood does NOT cover abortions and never has. The government does not fund abortions in any way. If I want to kill my fetus, I'm paying for it myself, out of pocket. Planned Parenthood does, however, perform abortions if a woman chooses to have one, so it's pretty obvious that this "brilliant" plan to reduce our deficit is a masked attempt of conservatives to push along their anti abortion agenda. They don't want to back an organization that provides abortions to girls whether or not the majority of the services offered and utilized by women there are extremely beneficial to women and women's health. PP offers routine gynecological care as well as free screenings for all STI's and cervical cancer. They also offer many different types of contraception, pregnancy planning, etc etc etc. PP is great because it is easy, and it is anonymous. Their primary mission is to keep women healthy and educated. There are statistics that prove that they have succeeded. I have always felt at ease knowing that no matter what happens, I can rely on Planned Parenthood to be there in case I need it. I, in fact, did utilize their services at one point. I wanted to go on birth control. Not living at home at the time and not wanting to wait for an appointment with my regular ob-gyn, I used PP. It was easy, it was quick, and it was anonymous. For girls who can't afford a regular OB, Planned Parenthood is there. It makes me very angry to see this country even considering a piece of legislation so backward. It seems as if they would rather our country regress. America needs to stop being so afraid of change and move forward. We should be a nation of progress. It frustrates me that we are seeing things like this happen in today's day and age when women in the past stood up and said, hey, boys. We matter. We count. Our health counts. Our happiness counts. We can take care of ourselves. We want to take care of ourselves. And we're going to do that if you like it or not. Women have proved themselves, for years. We have proved ourselves to be intelligent and competent. Women successfully raise children while holding full time jobs. These things happen every day. In spite of all of this progress, we are still faced with politicians who can't come up with a better plan to reduce their deficit than denying millions of women preventative medical care.
My answer is, to the men: You are not women, and you will never understand what it is to be faced with even the prospect of carrying a child, and the life changing consequences that can have. You don't know what it feels like to worry constantly that you may get pregnant and not be able to support a baby, and that the guy might disappear as soon as your baby is born, and you might be left alone. You will never understand what it is to make these choices because you will never have to. Please, listen to the women who have fought hard to have things like Planned Parenthood available to them. Cutting funding will only increase the number of children born into unfortunate circumstances because of lack of access to proper contraception. More women will die, and we will spend more treating diseases and cancers in their later stages rather than preventing them or treating them early on. Planned Parenthood may provide a service that goes against your morals, but that is not the service you are cutting. Give us women a chance, please.
To the women (who are for this legislation): You insult us, and you drive us further backward in time. Do not deny the millions of women that have benefited from PP's services in favor of your own selfish beliefs.
I have a very hard time understanding women who speak in favor of things like this. It makes me think that they have never had anything denied them in their life and have always been able to afford quality care. You have to learn how to step out of your own shoes into another person's. You have to learn how to be critical of your own upbringing, and see where your beliefs truly come from. Educate yourself, learn, and read, and exercise compassion even when it is difficult. You never know where a person is coming from.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Downfall
Well, it's been a pretty boring two days but Sunday into Monday usually is. Last night I watched a German film called Downfall which is an account of Hitler's last 12 days in his bunker in Berlin. I forgot I had rented it, but I suppose it was mostly because it had so many good reviews. As far as movies go, it was very very well done. I am not too familiar with all the details of Hitler's time in power, but I spent a good amount of time today doing basic research about the main characters and events in the movie. The movie followed what I read very accurately. Some of the events are downright disturbing, but I suppose you can't expect much else from a movie about a psychopathic dictator. The most disturbing event is when Magda Goebbels systematically murders her six children. I had difficulty watching it. It wasn't gory, and it wasn't violent, but it disturbed me so much that I had trouble sleeping afterward. I've seen movies where children are violently shot and killed, but for some reason the calm and matter of fact way in which Magda went about it was especially bothersome to me. It's a scene that isn't going to leave my head anytime soon.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Rants, Raves, Thoughts
I've neglected blogging. I'd love to say I've been busy...partially true. I am busy about half the time, and the other half I either read or watch Netflix, which is a new and horrible addiction of mine. In general, in spite of all the ridiculous snow we've gotten, I feel pretty decent. Usually this time of year isn't great for me mentally. It does get tiring, but as my father says, we just have to embrace the weather, which means putting on your boots and hats and coats and scarves and buying snowshoes if necessary. I'm sure people back in the 1800's never bitched about this shit the way people do now. We are all spoiled little brats. I have never heard such bitching and complaining in my whole life as I have this winter. The joys of working customer service include listening to people bitch on all levels of everything.
Ex: "I just can't STAND all this snow, I'm moving to Florida! This is just ridiculous I just can't believe it bleh bleh blah blah moan moan cleaning snow sucks blah blah moan."
"No one can drive in the snow! I am the best driver ever in seen in snow and everyone else sucks, they're terrible, took me TWO HOURS to get to work blah blah moan moan."
That's enough examples. Thinking about these people makes me want to throw things. The biggest problem for me is that many of these snow bitchy people are people that I know and usually love. There are, of course, the people who love snow, and then do what I'm doing, which is to complain about the people who hate it, but it seems that these people are few and far between. I just get tired of listening to it after awhile. No one is original, but everyone thinks that they are. The morning after a huge snowstorm, when every status on Facebook is about snow or snow removal, and how bad your morning commute was, it's a little sad. I do not need a motherfucking picture of your snow covered car. MY CAR LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME. I do not need a picture of yours. I can simply look out my window. Holy shit, a snow covered car! Imagine! Good thing I saw yours on the internet first so I could compare.
People in general make me angry lately. I guess I'm frustrated myself, but I feel as though I walk around in a world completely blinded to all truth. A woman was in the store the other day talking about how much school the kids have missed because of the snow. She was angry because "I already booked my vacation and now with all the snow, it's going to be that last week of school - well that's just too bad for the school, my kids are just not going to go. And can you imagine, the school is saying that kids will only be excused that week with a doctor's note! Well I never! No one could predict 80 inches of snow, and I already booked my vacation!"
I wanted to slap this woman so hard. Really? You already booked your vacation and your poor children might have to miss out because of some snow? How horrible that they might have to stay in school for an extra week! Fuck you, you entitled cunt. People are constantly blaming the schools for not properly educating children. This is a way for shitty parents to shift blame onto an institution for not raising their kids properly. The problem is with students who are ill-prepared and entitled and every time they fuck up get excused because Mommy and Daddy call the school and complain and threaten a lawsuit. How dare the school try to discipline your fragile little lamb of a child who can do no wrong. I certainly do not mean to say that there are no bad teachers and never a reason to complain about a school, or that the school always handles these issues properly. I'm simply pointing out that a lot of parents these days seem to think their kids are special little snowflakes who must be protected from everything, and this is why these kids grow up and become incompetent assholes who frequent my line in the package store to complain about everything.
This entry has turned into a rant. Since I'm ranting, I'll bring up another topic which caught my attention the other day - namely, some guy I read about on yahoo who is touting the idea that kids don't necessarily need to go to college because it is too expensive and a waste of time.
http://finance.yahoo.com/tech-ticker/james-altucher%27s-8-alternatives-to-college-535903.html?tickers=COCO,APOL,ESI,DV,EDMC,STRA,^DJI
I think I found this interesting because I completely understand where this man is coming from and I think he has good intentions. It worries me though, that people will start to think this is legitimate. He obviously hasn't exactly thought his ideas through fully, since if you watch the video he basically says that he is not saying that no one should ever go to college but that for some kids it might be a good idea to wait and explore other options, and that not going to college doesn't necessarily mean you will end up flipping burgers the rest of your life. On this point, I agree. I do not agree, however, that we should start encouraging kids to not go to college. I struggled with and still struggle with some of the same questions he brought up - namely, how much you actually learn in college. As someone who attended a four year public university in a humanities major (which we all know we can't do much with in the field upon graduation with no advanced degree), I have an answer. That answer is that students learn a great deal in college. Unfortunately, most of that learning does not come in the form of test scores or essay grades. I was technically, in terms of grades, a poor student. I rarely studied. The problem is that the type of learning I'm talking about can't be measured or categorized. It comes in many different forms. Grades are so often not an accurate depiction of intelligence. I guess in tests where they test students to see what they have learned academically in college, they don't do much better four years later than they did entering as a freshman. I can completely see that. It makes perfect sense. Most classes I took I retained very little actual solid information. If it's information that you are not going to continue to use and is simply memorized in order to use it on a test, it won't be retained in the long run. The best way to retain important information is to use it in the real world, which the world of academia is severely lacking. After all of this and knowing that I wasn't such a huge fan of college, it seems odd that I would still advocate for it, but I do simply because there truly aren't any alternatives that are better. The pros outweigh the cons in this case for me. For most people who are not incredibly ambitious and need a little direction, college provides that. It also provides a bridge from high school to the real professional world.
I would say to anyone that has the resources and ambition to pull off any one of Altucher's alternatives to college to go for it. How I wish I had the funds to take time off and travel the world. Doesn't everyone? Unfortunately that is not a reality for most students. In fact, it is going to be easier for most students to travel while they are in college than not. It is probably easier to concentrate on creating great art while actually in school than just on your own. There are numerous opportunities available to college students that aren't available anywhere else. I wish that I took advantage of them now. Truthfully, I have some regrets about that time of my life. I feel a little bit as if I wasted it. On the other hand, I still feel I learned a lot, both in the classroom and out of it, and in so many different ways. I definitely think that college isn't for everyone. I agree that it is overpriced. I avoided being in a huge debt by attending a public in state university, so tuition was a lot lower. I certainly think that people should be asking these questions and trying to come up with solutions to them. I think that being able to cut tuition costs as well as add some sort of practical element to four year university study would be greatly beneficial to future students. I don't have any solutions for it, of course, but that's why I'm writing a blog about it and not an article. Problems like these are too complex to just start naming off rash solutions like don't send your kids to college at all. Too often we forget how statistics are generated. They don't take into account things that may be so important, so it's important to look at every statistic published with a critical eye. So often it's said that the most important skill people learn in college is critical thinking, and I completely agree.
Ex: "I just can't STAND all this snow, I'm moving to Florida! This is just ridiculous I just can't believe it bleh bleh blah blah moan moan cleaning snow sucks blah blah moan."
"No one can drive in the snow! I am the best driver ever in seen in snow and everyone else sucks, they're terrible, took me TWO HOURS to get to work blah blah moan moan."
That's enough examples. Thinking about these people makes me want to throw things. The biggest problem for me is that many of these snow bitchy people are people that I know and usually love. There are, of course, the people who love snow, and then do what I'm doing, which is to complain about the people who hate it, but it seems that these people are few and far between. I just get tired of listening to it after awhile. No one is original, but everyone thinks that they are. The morning after a huge snowstorm, when every status on Facebook is about snow or snow removal, and how bad your morning commute was, it's a little sad. I do not need a motherfucking picture of your snow covered car. MY CAR LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME. I do not need a picture of yours. I can simply look out my window. Holy shit, a snow covered car! Imagine! Good thing I saw yours on the internet first so I could compare.
People in general make me angry lately. I guess I'm frustrated myself, but I feel as though I walk around in a world completely blinded to all truth. A woman was in the store the other day talking about how much school the kids have missed because of the snow. She was angry because "I already booked my vacation and now with all the snow, it's going to be that last week of school - well that's just too bad for the school, my kids are just not going to go. And can you imagine, the school is saying that kids will only be excused that week with a doctor's note! Well I never! No one could predict 80 inches of snow, and I already booked my vacation!"
I wanted to slap this woman so hard. Really? You already booked your vacation and your poor children might have to miss out because of some snow? How horrible that they might have to stay in school for an extra week! Fuck you, you entitled cunt. People are constantly blaming the schools for not properly educating children. This is a way for shitty parents to shift blame onto an institution for not raising their kids properly. The problem is with students who are ill-prepared and entitled and every time they fuck up get excused because Mommy and Daddy call the school and complain and threaten a lawsuit. How dare the school try to discipline your fragile little lamb of a child who can do no wrong. I certainly do not mean to say that there are no bad teachers and never a reason to complain about a school, or that the school always handles these issues properly. I'm simply pointing out that a lot of parents these days seem to think their kids are special little snowflakes who must be protected from everything, and this is why these kids grow up and become incompetent assholes who frequent my line in the package store to complain about everything.
This entry has turned into a rant. Since I'm ranting, I'll bring up another topic which caught my attention the other day - namely, some guy I read about on yahoo who is touting the idea that kids don't necessarily need to go to college because it is too expensive and a waste of time.
http://finance.yahoo.com/tech-ticker/james-altucher%27s-8-alternatives-to-college-535903.html?tickers=COCO,APOL,ESI,DV,EDMC,STRA,^DJI
I think I found this interesting because I completely understand where this man is coming from and I think he has good intentions. It worries me though, that people will start to think this is legitimate. He obviously hasn't exactly thought his ideas through fully, since if you watch the video he basically says that he is not saying that no one should ever go to college but that for some kids it might be a good idea to wait and explore other options, and that not going to college doesn't necessarily mean you will end up flipping burgers the rest of your life. On this point, I agree. I do not agree, however, that we should start encouraging kids to not go to college. I struggled with and still struggle with some of the same questions he brought up - namely, how much you actually learn in college. As someone who attended a four year public university in a humanities major (which we all know we can't do much with in the field upon graduation with no advanced degree), I have an answer. That answer is that students learn a great deal in college. Unfortunately, most of that learning does not come in the form of test scores or essay grades. I was technically, in terms of grades, a poor student. I rarely studied. The problem is that the type of learning I'm talking about can't be measured or categorized. It comes in many different forms. Grades are so often not an accurate depiction of intelligence. I guess in tests where they test students to see what they have learned academically in college, they don't do much better four years later than they did entering as a freshman. I can completely see that. It makes perfect sense. Most classes I took I retained very little actual solid information. If it's information that you are not going to continue to use and is simply memorized in order to use it on a test, it won't be retained in the long run. The best way to retain important information is to use it in the real world, which the world of academia is severely lacking. After all of this and knowing that I wasn't such a huge fan of college, it seems odd that I would still advocate for it, but I do simply because there truly aren't any alternatives that are better. The pros outweigh the cons in this case for me. For most people who are not incredibly ambitious and need a little direction, college provides that. It also provides a bridge from high school to the real professional world.
I would say to anyone that has the resources and ambition to pull off any one of Altucher's alternatives to college to go for it. How I wish I had the funds to take time off and travel the world. Doesn't everyone? Unfortunately that is not a reality for most students. In fact, it is going to be easier for most students to travel while they are in college than not. It is probably easier to concentrate on creating great art while actually in school than just on your own. There are numerous opportunities available to college students that aren't available anywhere else. I wish that I took advantage of them now. Truthfully, I have some regrets about that time of my life. I feel a little bit as if I wasted it. On the other hand, I still feel I learned a lot, both in the classroom and out of it, and in so many different ways. I definitely think that college isn't for everyone. I agree that it is overpriced. I avoided being in a huge debt by attending a public in state university, so tuition was a lot lower. I certainly think that people should be asking these questions and trying to come up with solutions to them. I think that being able to cut tuition costs as well as add some sort of practical element to four year university study would be greatly beneficial to future students. I don't have any solutions for it, of course, but that's why I'm writing a blog about it and not an article. Problems like these are too complex to just start naming off rash solutions like don't send your kids to college at all. Too often we forget how statistics are generated. They don't take into account things that may be so important, so it's important to look at every statistic published with a critical eye. So often it's said that the most important skill people learn in college is critical thinking, and I completely agree.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Tis a New Year
Well, it's a New Year...rang in the New Year right this year. Tons of fun with my best friends. I couldn't ask for more. I hope this year will be a bit of a turning point for me. As of yet, though, I am making very little progress on the job front, which is totally my fault this time. I'm just not trying very hard. It's hard to care when everything else is going well, and I am having all kinds of fun. The thought of searching for a job, writing tons of bullshit about why I am so awesome, then sitting through a painfully awkward interview while some person who has no idea who I really am judges the shit out of me doesn't sound very appealing right now. I'll have to go through with it eventually...I have to do something. I have no choice. At the moment though, I am avoiding my responsibilities like the plague. All of this is completely ignoring the fact that it's difficult to even get to the painfully awkward interview stage, and at this point I am also feeling a little defeated when it comes to that.
Anyway, enough negativity. My positive energy has finally been coming through lately. My confidence has returned, I feel happy and hopeful. I hope this doesn't go away. I feel much more like myself again. I'm enjoying it. Since the past few months haven't been the easiest, this is a welcome change. I need to buy some new boots. I bought a guitar. I was hoping it would come today, but if not today, tomorrow. It's a cheap one, but I've always wanted to learn to play, and if it turns out I don't have enough patience for it, my mother told me she would help me out a bit with guitar lessons. I figure it can't be as hard as playing the violin, so it shouldn't be too bad if I can just for once commit enough time to it. Off I go I think - I'm hungry and I need a shower.
Anyway, enough negativity. My positive energy has finally been coming through lately. My confidence has returned, I feel happy and hopeful. I hope this doesn't go away. I feel much more like myself again. I'm enjoying it. Since the past few months haven't been the easiest, this is a welcome change. I need to buy some new boots. I bought a guitar. I was hoping it would come today, but if not today, tomorrow. It's a cheap one, but I've always wanted to learn to play, and if it turns out I don't have enough patience for it, my mother told me she would help me out a bit with guitar lessons. I figure it can't be as hard as playing the violin, so it shouldn't be too bad if I can just for once commit enough time to it. Off I go I think - I'm hungry and I need a shower.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Snow Day
Well, I have a snow day today, and I am not even in school anymore. Sometimes I forget how good the management is at my work until they call me at 6:30 am from home on the day of a bad storm to tell me not to come in because I live in East Jesus Nowhere. Yes, Winter has arrived, and it is dumping copious amounts of snow on everything. I guess this is classified as a blizzard because of the 50 mph winds. That, I think, is the worst part. In inches I think we have about 9 or 10 so far and it's still snowing here in CT, but of course the wind is the worst thing and is making it drift and be much higher in places. It's also brutally cold. Sometimes when it snows it's just a little below freezing, but no, it's bitter cold right now.
Apparently the weather man said that this could be classified as the worst storm since 1993 when we had another blizzard that dumped about three feet of snow on the ground. I remember that storm. We have pictures of it in a very old photo album somewhere in my house. I'm not particularly bothered by the storm as I don't have to go anywhere, and since I generally enjoy snow, this is ok with me. I would prefer it without the crazy wind, but you can't have everything. I would like to go sledding, but I have no idea where we would even have a sled anymore. Maybe out in the shed, buried. It's probably broken. I'll have to go buy a cheap k-mart sled (those are the best kind anyway) when this storm stops. This is only the beginning of Winter. I'm sure there will be more storms. I think I'll probably sit around in my pajamas underneath my CT sheep wool blanket which is the warmest blanket ever, and watch movies on Netflix. My sister got me a six month Netflix subscription for Christmas which comes with one movie rental a day and unlimited downloads. It was a pretty sweet gift, especially since I am currently snowed in.
Christmas wasn't so bad, although I could have done without some of the relatives on Christmas Day. Weird as it is to say, I rather like having a small Christmas in my sister's condo with just my Dad, Mom, and sister. My mother gave me an absolutely beautiful new wool coat, which I love, and I got a 1 tb external hard drive, which was what I asked for. I think Christmas last year was a little more fun, as my sister was incredibly sick and there was more confusion this year, but it certainly wasn't bad. I got a nice bonus from work and money from my dad, all of which is going to pay my student loan bills - boring, but I am rather poor.
I read an article on Yahoo news about reasons to quit your job, and one reason not to quit your job is if you are happy with everything but the pay. This is true to a point. I am mostly happy with most things except for the pay at my job, but at the same time my job is entirely irrelevant to anything I might want to be doing in the future, so it feels more like a waste of time than anything. At the same time, I know I get paid well for what I do, it's just not enough to make a living off of, or live on my own. Therefore, I think money is a very valid reason to be looking for another job. In any case, I think I'm going to go watch some movies and for once stop worrying about jobs and money. I'm going to enjoy my day off.
Apparently the weather man said that this could be classified as the worst storm since 1993 when we had another blizzard that dumped about three feet of snow on the ground. I remember that storm. We have pictures of it in a very old photo album somewhere in my house. I'm not particularly bothered by the storm as I don't have to go anywhere, and since I generally enjoy snow, this is ok with me. I would prefer it without the crazy wind, but you can't have everything. I would like to go sledding, but I have no idea where we would even have a sled anymore. Maybe out in the shed, buried. It's probably broken. I'll have to go buy a cheap k-mart sled (those are the best kind anyway) when this storm stops. This is only the beginning of Winter. I'm sure there will be more storms. I think I'll probably sit around in my pajamas underneath my CT sheep wool blanket which is the warmest blanket ever, and watch movies on Netflix. My sister got me a six month Netflix subscription for Christmas which comes with one movie rental a day and unlimited downloads. It was a pretty sweet gift, especially since I am currently snowed in.
Christmas wasn't so bad, although I could have done without some of the relatives on Christmas Day. Weird as it is to say, I rather like having a small Christmas in my sister's condo with just my Dad, Mom, and sister. My mother gave me an absolutely beautiful new wool coat, which I love, and I got a 1 tb external hard drive, which was what I asked for. I think Christmas last year was a little more fun, as my sister was incredibly sick and there was more confusion this year, but it certainly wasn't bad. I got a nice bonus from work and money from my dad, all of which is going to pay my student loan bills - boring, but I am rather poor.
I read an article on Yahoo news about reasons to quit your job, and one reason not to quit your job is if you are happy with everything but the pay. This is true to a point. I am mostly happy with most things except for the pay at my job, but at the same time my job is entirely irrelevant to anything I might want to be doing in the future, so it feels more like a waste of time than anything. At the same time, I know I get paid well for what I do, it's just not enough to make a living off of, or live on my own. Therefore, I think money is a very valid reason to be looking for another job. In any case, I think I'm going to go watch some movies and for once stop worrying about jobs and money. I'm going to enjoy my day off.
Monday, November 29, 2010
The Internet
Well, I'm feeling a need to write. Even if I can't say exactly what's on my mind here right now (Big Secrets). I can still write anyway. Life hasn't really begun to look up and people haven't become any less idiotic in the last several days. In fact, it's gotten worse. Who knows what makes people behave in the way they do sometimes. I studied Psychology in the hopes it would help me to figure it out, but I'm no closer now than I was five years ago. Sure, some things are easy to pinpoint and figure out, but others, it's like trying to grab and hold onto a fistful of water. Also, no matter what, someone is always going to assign behavior an idiotic reason when that has nothing whatsoever to do with the current behavior - i.e. this person has a narcissistic personality disorder, or it's because Daddy didn't love him, etc. etc. I see this countless times and ways all over the internet every day. Even the comments made about television shows and their characters. Some of the observations people make are so ludicrous and inaccurate. "*REVELATION* I can't believe that character acted that way, he/she must have borderline personality disorder!!!!11!! *REVELATION*
People really need to learn to shut the fuck up when they don't know what they're talking about. You can't just assign personality disorders off at random for personality flaws. Sure, it's easy to do. In fact, if I looked at every single person I've ever met on a level that's a little deeper than very casual acquaintance, I could diagnose each and every one of them with a personality disorder. It's extremely easy to misdiagnose personality disorders, but really it's something that shouldn't be thrown around so easily. Placing the label of personality disorder upon a person can have damning effects, mostly because they seem to be the least curable of all mental ailments - you try curing a sociopath. I was thinking of this only because I recently finished the Millennium Trilogy by Stieg Larsson (some of the best books I've read in a long time) and Lisbeth, the main character, has been misdiagnosed by misguided therapists her whole life. The effects of it, of course, are innumerable. It is very hard to change someone's mind once they've decided you are crazy.
Speaking of the internet, another thing that people do when commenting or analyzing a show, for example, is cry racism. "That family is so WHITE, of course they act like that" or "All of the black people on this show are the same, the writers must be racist!" Holy christ, people, give it a rest. It's a television show. Its purpose is to entertain. I read all of these comments with amazement. People get so angry, over absolutely nothing, on the internet. They create arguments for themselves over problems that never existed in the first place. It is rather fascinating. The internet is a funny place. You can say anything you want, with no limits and no guidelines. There's no one to check up on you, no teacher to mark your paper up with red pen if you give misinformation. The consequence of that is a plethora of misinformation that people have accumulated that they freely spew because they know there will be no backlash. Anonymity creates an interesting populous of people who I could guarantee would never be quite so opinionated were you to have a conversation with them in real life. I love the internet but hate it at the same time.
I suppose I should wrap this up now. I wasn't sure what this post was going to be about when I started writing but I am glad to see that it ended up with a definitive point. I never know where I'm beginning in writing but I seem to always end up somewhere in the end.
People really need to learn to shut the fuck up when they don't know what they're talking about. You can't just assign personality disorders off at random for personality flaws. Sure, it's easy to do. In fact, if I looked at every single person I've ever met on a level that's a little deeper than very casual acquaintance, I could diagnose each and every one of them with a personality disorder. It's extremely easy to misdiagnose personality disorders, but really it's something that shouldn't be thrown around so easily. Placing the label of personality disorder upon a person can have damning effects, mostly because they seem to be the least curable of all mental ailments - you try curing a sociopath. I was thinking of this only because I recently finished the Millennium Trilogy by Stieg Larsson (some of the best books I've read in a long time) and Lisbeth, the main character, has been misdiagnosed by misguided therapists her whole life. The effects of it, of course, are innumerable. It is very hard to change someone's mind once they've decided you are crazy.
Speaking of the internet, another thing that people do when commenting or analyzing a show, for example, is cry racism. "That family is so WHITE, of course they act like that" or "All of the black people on this show are the same, the writers must be racist!" Holy christ, people, give it a rest. It's a television show. Its purpose is to entertain. I read all of these comments with amazement. People get so angry, over absolutely nothing, on the internet. They create arguments for themselves over problems that never existed in the first place. It is rather fascinating. The internet is a funny place. You can say anything you want, with no limits and no guidelines. There's no one to check up on you, no teacher to mark your paper up with red pen if you give misinformation. The consequence of that is a plethora of misinformation that people have accumulated that they freely spew because they know there will be no backlash. Anonymity creates an interesting populous of people who I could guarantee would never be quite so opinionated were you to have a conversation with them in real life. I love the internet but hate it at the same time.
I suppose I should wrap this up now. I wasn't sure what this post was going to be about when I started writing but I am glad to see that it ended up with a definitive point. I never know where I'm beginning in writing but I seem to always end up somewhere in the end.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Happy Holidays?
So it's almost the holidays - Thanksgiving on Thursday and then of course Christmas next month. The package store is beginning to own my soul. It pretty much does that all season long. I am not excited at all for the holidays. The older I get, the less fun they seem to be, along with everything else. I'm a little depressed. Somehow, and I don't know if it's just because I am feeling a little down, it seems that everyone around me is having a hard time of it too. I don't know if it's the lack of sunshine or cold, or what, but everything seems to be harder lately.
Earlier on in life, I always had a set plan I was on, I guess, and I never really thought about it much. I always just figured that I would figure out what came next when the time came. It's here now, and I don't know what I'm doing. I just happened to finish college when there are no jobs. Apparently I'm not alone in not being able to find one. I feel that I probably would be able to find one if I cared a little more about what I was going to be doing. I care, but I don't at the same time, and it's a dangerous place to be. Many things in my life haven't worked out as planned, for sure, and I never expected anything to be easy, but that won't stop me from wishing it was. I'm lazy as hell. No one is forcing me to do anything. I am applying for jobs because I can't particularly think of anything better to do. I have to do something. I can't keep exploiting my parents forever. I have a feeling if I were forced to do something, I would do it. It would help to have someone who would tell me I was being a weak idiot. No one will. Everyone is all, "Oh, it's not really your fault, the economy sucks, blah blah, it's fine, you'll find something eventually." My favorite is "Why don't you just go back to school then, if you can't find a job." Yeah, a solid plan, except that I am ALREADY in debt and can barely afford to pay those loans, much less attempting to get into a grad school with less than stellar grades, and taking out even MORE loans, so that when I graduate with a Masters or something I can be in even more debt that I am in now, and most likely still jobless. Basically, I would be me, now, with an advanced degree, and lots of debt. It's like a fucking merry-go-round and it's so fucking annoying.
Speaking of annoying - people in general. It might be me, but people have become even more idiotic recently. I feel rather alienated. I talk to very few people. Being the shy person that I am, it is always hard for me to open up to people, so when communication halts between me and another person it's incredibly hard for me to begin communication again. I know that is a poor excuse, but I have always been shy. It's like an ingrained part of me that will never go away. In spite of being shy, I am incredibly social and love to talk. I know, I make no sense, but I am who I am. Therefore, having no one talking to me is making me depressed which in turn makes me even less likely to go out and seek social interaction. Another fucking merry-go-round. I suppose I am just stuck in a rut, and I spend a lot of time thinking about how to go about getting out of it. I like to come up with elaborately detailed plans in my head which I will never follow through on. Most of them require lots more money and a lot more ambition than I seem to have in real life. Reality is almost always more dreary than what I can come up with in my own head, but I suppose that would be the case with most people.
Long and short of this entry is I'm very lonely. I feel sad a lot of the time, defeated, with zero energy. I know it's not helping, but I can't seem to shake it this time. My dog makes me smile more than anything in the world. I love her to death. She is better than any person. She is always there, cuddly and sweet and crazy, and completely huggable. She is a beacon of bright light in my otherwise dreary existence. I do not care how cliche that sentence was, it is entirely the truth. Our lives are plagued by cliches. I of course am still ever hopeful as always that things will turn around. As always, I must remind myself that there are people and things in the world much worse than my life. There are a great many things about my life that I have enjoyed and still enjoy. I try my hardest to focus on the good instead of the bad, to keep a positive attitude even though I know I default to a negative one. Here's to hoping for some Christmas magic to rejuvenate me. There's definitely something wrong when my favorite holiday fails to excite me at all. We shall see.
Earlier on in life, I always had a set plan I was on, I guess, and I never really thought about it much. I always just figured that I would figure out what came next when the time came. It's here now, and I don't know what I'm doing. I just happened to finish college when there are no jobs. Apparently I'm not alone in not being able to find one. I feel that I probably would be able to find one if I cared a little more about what I was going to be doing. I care, but I don't at the same time, and it's a dangerous place to be. Many things in my life haven't worked out as planned, for sure, and I never expected anything to be easy, but that won't stop me from wishing it was. I'm lazy as hell. No one is forcing me to do anything. I am applying for jobs because I can't particularly think of anything better to do. I have to do something. I can't keep exploiting my parents forever. I have a feeling if I were forced to do something, I would do it. It would help to have someone who would tell me I was being a weak idiot. No one will. Everyone is all, "Oh, it's not really your fault, the economy sucks, blah blah, it's fine, you'll find something eventually." My favorite is "Why don't you just go back to school then, if you can't find a job." Yeah, a solid plan, except that I am ALREADY in debt and can barely afford to pay those loans, much less attempting to get into a grad school with less than stellar grades, and taking out even MORE loans, so that when I graduate with a Masters or something I can be in even more debt that I am in now, and most likely still jobless. Basically, I would be me, now, with an advanced degree, and lots of debt. It's like a fucking merry-go-round and it's so fucking annoying.
Speaking of annoying - people in general. It might be me, but people have become even more idiotic recently. I feel rather alienated. I talk to very few people. Being the shy person that I am, it is always hard for me to open up to people, so when communication halts between me and another person it's incredibly hard for me to begin communication again. I know that is a poor excuse, but I have always been shy. It's like an ingrained part of me that will never go away. In spite of being shy, I am incredibly social and love to talk. I know, I make no sense, but I am who I am. Therefore, having no one talking to me is making me depressed which in turn makes me even less likely to go out and seek social interaction. Another fucking merry-go-round. I suppose I am just stuck in a rut, and I spend a lot of time thinking about how to go about getting out of it. I like to come up with elaborately detailed plans in my head which I will never follow through on. Most of them require lots more money and a lot more ambition than I seem to have in real life. Reality is almost always more dreary than what I can come up with in my own head, but I suppose that would be the case with most people.
Long and short of this entry is I'm very lonely. I feel sad a lot of the time, defeated, with zero energy. I know it's not helping, but I can't seem to shake it this time. My dog makes me smile more than anything in the world. I love her to death. She is better than any person. She is always there, cuddly and sweet and crazy, and completely huggable. She is a beacon of bright light in my otherwise dreary existence. I do not care how cliche that sentence was, it is entirely the truth. Our lives are plagued by cliches. I of course am still ever hopeful as always that things will turn around. As always, I must remind myself that there are people and things in the world much worse than my life. There are a great many things about my life that I have enjoyed and still enjoy. I try my hardest to focus on the good instead of the bad, to keep a positive attitude even though I know I default to a negative one. Here's to hoping for some Christmas magic to rejuvenate me. There's definitely something wrong when my favorite holiday fails to excite me at all. We shall see.
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